Close, but no cigar

I find most of social media inundated by posts titled “letters to my ex” or on a similar vein. They spell out all the reasons why a certain someone was terribly wrong for you. Ironically, this realisation, or shall we say revelation, usually comes to light only when one has moved on to another significant other who feels just right. What baffles me is how when you scroll down to the time when the posters were falling in love with their apparently toxic ex’s, they seemed deliriously happy. As much as they are with their current situation. I understand people change over time. What I don’t get is how, in retrospect, we fall victims to tunnel vision and only see faults in others. Do we forget that the wrong person was completely right for us at a certain point of time? Or are we agreeing we plunged into relationships without first knowing the person and/or analysing if they are compatible with us or not? Hundreds of similar questions pop up in my mind and I’m sure the hypocrisy, or foolishness, call it what you will, could not have escaped the notice of countless other people.

Yet, the amount of vitriol spewed everywhere is nauseating. 

So to every friendship of mine that parted ways down the line in order to be substituted for one that stood the test of time and is still going strong, to every other relationship in my life that ended only to make way for something so beautiful that I’m always at a loss for words to describe it, I am not going to say you were wrong for me or I regret being with you. I get that we could have made it past the finish line but we fell short. While the current “we” won the race, you were a close and well deserving second.

I’m going to sum it all up by saying – Close, but no cigar.

What do you feel about failed relationships in your life? Are you still in touch? Are you civil towards each other or is there a lot of resentment? Do you think my approach makes sense? Let me know in the comments down below!

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13 thoughts on “Close, but no cigar

  1. Honestly, it is what it is, relationships if they have failed we’re not great for either party in the long run, both better off. I think the word love gets bashed about to often.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. That’s it, I think in the same way people over react when relationships break down, ok it’s upsetting but it’s not a death sentence. It’s all down to the person/couple I suppose. We live in a time now where everyone is trying to be a saint, I am going off point a bit.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. No, no, I get your point. It is true that a blame is being played these days in order to absolve your own self of any residual guilt at the death of a relationship. I think that is where I was going too when I mentioned that something must have been right in the beginning, so why the spewing of vitriol.
          Always happy to hear what people think. So digress all you want 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

          1. It’s the Instagram time we live in. If you are not perfect and without flaw you are awful or open season for people to give advice on how to sort things out. It’s all upside down.

            Liked by 1 person

  2. If I look into my past, every friendship I had cultivated when I was in school has come to an end, that too in a bitter way. I wouldn’t go on to say they weren’t right for me, its just how they culminated into a mess that was so sour to even remember the good parts. So, to answer your last question, it all depends on how it ended. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I see. The difficulty in seeing the good times would definitely make a difference. But the fact that you wouldn’t say they weren’t right for you does amplify my strain of thinking. Thank you for letting me know your thoughts. ☺️

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Regardless of how it ended, my premise is that when you enter into it, it’s all peachy and feels right so then in retrospect, how can one just dismiss it and slight it all so easily? That’s what’s astounding.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Failed relationships are a mystery to me. The parting is initially hurtful, but the memories mostly pleasant. And I calmly move, as I’ve learnt, she actually die,and therefore it’s nowhere near as bad as that awful grieving process that stays with us for a lifetime.

    Liked by 3 people

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